Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
