The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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