you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
