Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
