I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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