He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
