): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
