it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
