I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
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