can u get pink eye on your cock?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
