He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
