this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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