"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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