I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
