Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
