Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
