Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
