I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
