i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
