My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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