on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize