I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
