I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
