I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
