that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
