FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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