he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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