one two three fourrrrnication!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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