Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize