I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
