My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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