My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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