I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
