hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
