Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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