Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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