dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Come see our sink grown plant.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The air was thick with penises
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
