she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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