i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i may or may not be watching the land before time
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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