Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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