At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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