i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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