i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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