the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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