I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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