"it" just moved
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
