Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
