You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
