apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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