guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Randomize
