sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
