i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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