i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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