no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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