Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
