Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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