I feel great
I just peed on a car
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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