it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
